Resolutions The Right Way!

Following the crowd

Every year at the end of December, we start to hear everyone talk about New Year Resolutions. You know that list of all the things we really want to accomplish, but don’t really want to put in the effort to achieve! The lists are always packed with the same thing as our peers…lose weight, be happier, read more, spend less, pray more, complain less….

a grayscale of letter cutouts
Photo by Ann H on Pexels.com

Failure is going to happen

Why is that? Undoubtedly, it’s because we set such high expectations and goals for ourselves. Goals that would require 100 percent of our time to even think about achieving. Let’s face it, there are not many people out there willing to put that much effort into their resolutions. I too am guilty of making those “dream” lists. Like many it always includes “getting healthy”, but what I’m really saying is I want to drop 50 to 100 pounds and look amazing this summer in a swimsuit. A completely unrealistic goal for someone who is so defeated by her lack of achieving last years resolution, that she won’t put no where near the same energy into it this year. After all my goal is already farther away now, since I spent the end part of last year scarfing down food to hide from my self disappointment. This started a snowball effect of realizing exactly how many resolutions I didn’t achieve last year, or the year before. In a fleeting moment I will once again, “follow the crowd” of making an unrealistic list. I’ll be full of hope staring down at my newly composed list. Only to realize in a few weeks, I have already failed, before giving up on the list.

Success in the future

Instead of focusing on those things we did not achieve, and falling into the never ending cycle of disappointment and failure. We should be focusing on our successes! When I look back at what I did achieve, suddenly I’m more confident, filled with real hope, and the realization that I can achieve my goals. I’m no longer wallowing in self pity over lost goals. If you’re like me becoming an optimist over night is NOT going to happen, especially when you’re a realist or pessimist. It will take a few weeks of ONLY looking at the things, that I have accomplished before it starts to sink in, that I can be successful at my “resolutions”.

How is that going to happen?! I will no longer call my list “new year resolutions”, instead I will call it: Last years success and This years changes! That small but simple change in wordage is all it will take to help make my year more successful. Instead of seeing a daunting list of hopeful goals that I possibly can not achieve, I will see a list of all the things I did accomplish on the success side. By looking at this list of success it will encourage me to keep going and to keep achieving! It will ignite a spark in my hope that brightens my mood and fills me with hope. If you look at the other side: This years changes, it may look similar to resolutions. The difference in a list of resolutions and a list of changes, aside from the obvious wordage, is that the list will be more achievable. For example I don’t want to stop living my normal daily life that makes me happy, as an attempt to reach a resolution that I will eventually quit because It is not fulfilling. Instead of saying in the new year I’m going to lose x amount of weight, my list will say I want to change my sugar intake. This broad spectrum of change gives me more space for success. I will be able to look back at the end of the year at my success of how much sugar I actually did omit, and not at the failed attempt of omitting all sugar or x amount of sugary foods. Another example would be a typical resolution of exercise, x number of days a week. Realistically life is going to get in the way, you may get sick, injured, busy at work and suddenly you have failed your resolution. Instead on this year for changes, by saying hike more. Not only have I allowed more space for failure but also space for success. If I didn’t hike at all last year, and suddenly I have went 2-3 times this year or how ever many times, I have achieved my “goal”!!!

What about accountability?

When you set your self up for success you don’t need accountability. You will find yourself easily accomplishing your list of changes because they allow for more growth. That’s not to say don’t include a friend in that “hike more” change or that you can’t join a book club to help you make the change of reading more. You have taken the pressure off your self by changing the “resolution” of join a book club and reading more, thus allowing you the opportunity to join if you want or not. This leaves the door open for your success at the end of the year, because now not only have you read more, but maybe you also joined that book club! With that kind of success you won’t need to be held accountable, or feel the need to hide or feel miserable, if and when you do fail.

They were more successful

As hard as it may be you can not compare yourself to another persons place in life. Unless, you are an identical twin, or a clone who lived identical lives, your starting points and hurdles were and are different! Your genetics and life choices will affect your success. So comparing yourself to a supermodel with good genetics who just became a fashion empire owner is pointless. That will never be you, because you will not make the same decisions in life or have the same problems to over come, and even if you did, your choices on how to handle them would be different. If you want to be as successful as that person or supermodel, you have to decide what things you can change in your life. Your success won’t come over night unless a little luck or fate comes into play. The sooner you adjust your goals and expectations the faster your success will happen. Your success still will not be identical to theirs no matter how successful you are because the fact is, you are two different people! Just remember, that while you are over here admiring that supermodel for her life and success; there is always someone else admiring you and your success!

What changes will you make?

I would love to hear your success from last year and what changes you plan to make this year! Leave me a comment below or find me on Facebook and tell me all about it!

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